NFL Week 7 Thoughts: Rounding Into Form

October 23, 2012

Features, Football, NFL, Weekly Thoughts

This week in the NFL provided something we really hadn’t experienced to this point in the season — clarity.  We had this muddled group of “maybe contenders” — maybe they are, maybe they’re not — and we weren’t totally certain who was what.

The NFC is basically four or five teams at this point.

Outside of the Bears, Packers, Giants, 49ers and Falcons, there are no true contenders.

Yeah, the Vikings are a nice story but can they keep it up with Christian Ponder? I doubt it.

The Cowboys are a bust again to no one’s surprise (except Colin Cowherd who has Tony Romo half in his mouth at all times). Those are your favorites and over the next few weeks, those teams will take turns being the “ZOMG TEAM X WILL WIN THE SUPER BOWL YOU GUYS” of the week.

In the AFC, things are so bad that the slightly above average Broncos are being considered threats for the Super Bowl. The Broncos are aware that they don’t have to be losing to score, right?  Rash head only has so many comebacks in him.

The only other teams in the conversation are the Texans (best team in the AFC), Ravens (defensively decimated), and Patriots (whom pundits think are either going to win the Super Bowl or plummet to the #1 overall pick depending on the week). It’s a mess.

What else happened this week? Let’s dive into this week’s thoughts.

Never Count Out the Steelers 

Look, I know they’re one injury away from fielding a Pop Warner running back but this team always finds ways to win.  It doesn’t matter that Big Ben is taking potshots at offensive coordinator Todd Haley (who is a dick, btw), they’ll find ways to win especially now that the Ravens defense looks like a Vietcong war zone. You’re telling me they can’t squeeze out 10 wins playing the shitty Bengals, the even shittier Browns, and that beat up Ravens team?

The offense still finds a way to be productive because Ben is a good quarterback who makes plays despite his rickety offensive line.  Mike Wallace, who is a total turd of a fantasy player, is still a threat and is helping Antonio Brown by taking pressure off.  And if they could field one running back for more than three plays, I’m sure they’d find some consistency there.

So put them down for 10 wins.  Then they’ll lose in the Wild Card round because that’s what the Steelers do.  They also do headshots.  DOIN’ IN THE RIGHT WAY, YOU GUYS.

I’m Not Sold On the Bears 

I know that everyone else is after their 13-7 win over the Lions last night.  Yeah, the defense looks very good.  Always does because the team philosophy preaches ferocious defense and ferocious they are.

But are you sold on that offense? They went up against a struggling Lions defense and only managed 13 points?  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Jay Cutler is a solid QB but that offensive line is going to get him seriously injured AGAIN. Ndamukong Suh took him down MMA-style last night, forcing Cutler to leave with injured ribs (he’d return). This has been an issue since last season when Cutler was getting his ass kicked every other game.  Until they find a way to protect him and keep the Jay Cutler face at bay, I can’t trust this Bears team.

New England is Still the Second Best Team in the AFC

I know, I know. The Patriots are a recurring theme.  They probably will be for the rest of the season because everyone loves to speculate what’s “wrong” with the team even when they win.  It’s just the way of the world.

That said, they should have annihilated the Jets. But the Patriots did what they’ve done all year — pull ahead, slowly let their opponent back in the game, and put themselves in a position to have to make a play to win the game late. And they’re LUCKY that a dropped pass saved them from a loss to this shitwreck of a Jets team because that very easily could’ve happened.

You know what’s wrong with the Patriots? The defense isn’t good and the once potently accurate Tom Brady isn’t quite that potent anymore.  Which happens with 35-year-old quarterbacks. But the AFC sucks so hard that they’ll probably make a run to the AFC title game again before the Texans abuse them so badly it becomes a Lifetime story.

Thursday Night Games are Compromising Player Safety

Roger Goodell is a hypocrite. We all know this. He’s arguably the most incompetent sports commissioner, which is pretty goddamned impressive considering Gary Bettman is in charge of a league. Goodell wants to preach player safety while the Ravens played 4 games in 17 days and promptly watched half of their defense explode.

These Thursday games already feature mostly shitty matchups but we get teams coming off of short weeks already beat up now having to beat each other up some more. You want to really promote player safety? Don’t schedule teams for Thursday night games immediately after a Sunday tilt. Let guys rest before they murder each other again.

Or Goodell can just keep pretending to care and make more half-assed moves when another player eats a glock for lunch.

RGIII is Really Good, Y’all

Did you know that Robert Griffin III runs really fast and throws a football really well? You didn’t? Well why don’t you listen to any talking head, dumbshit coach-turned-analyst on television because THAT’S WHAT THEY’RE THERE FOR.

Look, I know he’s good. I can see him running around for lots of yards and keeping the offense moving with Alfred Morris as his primary back and a pile of garbage as his receiving corps. The guy is very good.  Right now, better than Andrew Luck.

But Cam Newton was the tits last year and look where he is now.  Pouting like a little bitch on the sidelines for his 1-5 Panthers. But it’s totally cool when he does his Superman celebration when they’re down 28, you guys.  He’s just having fun.

That’s it for this weeks thoughts. No need to get drunk this week; the Bills are on bye. Though, that is the one team that would find a way to lose during it’s by week. CJ Spiller vehicular homicide arrest here we come!

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  1. NFL Power Rankings: Week 7 | - October 24, 2012

    […] enough healthy guys to field a team, but with Roethlisberger and good coaching. They’ll win. DOIN’ IT RIGHT. […]

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