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Farm Club Debacle Week 5 Wrap: Watch the Throne

Remember this post from Stefan Jagot (pronounced Steff-on Jagg-it) a few weeks back trashing my fantasy football team, The Fighting Sheeds?

If it seems like a distant memory, that’s because it should be one. I took a whole lot of flack from my Farm Club colleagues after getting crushed in week one and scoring the fewest points. Since then, I’ve won four straight and have scored more points than any of the other foolish managers in our league. Just wanted to take a moment to point that out.

Watch the throne, boys. I’m goin’ H.A.M on the whole league.

Anyways, on to the Fantasy movers and shakers of week five…

Quarterback:

Drew Brees came up big for his team and his fantasy owners

Drew Brees put the team on his back when they needed him most. Brees helped lift the desperate Saints to their first win of the season, completing 29 of 45 passes, throwing for 370 yards, and four touchdowns with just one interception. He sliced and diced the Chargers secondary and gave Nich Beesley’s HSBJ Brainiacs 32 fantasy points in his win over Matt Pocket’s Pocket Rockets.

Wide Receiver:

Brandon Marshall and Jay Cutler’s performance on Sunday was reminiscent of their Denver Bronco days.

Brandon Marshall and Jay Cutler connected like they were Denver Broncos again when they faced the weak Jacksonville defense this week. Beesley’s Brainiacs again benefited here, much to the dismay of Pocket, as Marshall contributed 26 fantasy points while reeling in 12 catches for 144 yards and a touchdown.

 

 

 

 

Running Back:

Ahmad Bradshaw keeps the focus on Pocket and Beesley’s matchup, but this time the top performer was on the Pocket Rockets. The only player even close to competing with Bradshaw for the week’s best running back was Arian Foster, also a proud member of the Pocket Rockets. Bradshaw was dominant, carrying the ball 30 times to pick up 200 yards and one touchdown in the Giants’ win over the Browns. Bradshaw also contributed to the passing game with four receptions for 29 yards, giving Pocket 29 total fantasy points.

Tight End:

Not only did Tony Gonzalez help the Falcons remain undefeated with his monster game against the Redskins, he helped Brian Young’s Erroneous Rhinocerus team pick up the narrow win over Eric Ratkowski’s Team ‘Merica. The legendary Gonzalez hauled in 13 passes for 123 yards and a touchdown. Those numbers were good enough to give him 24.5 fantasy points; stellar for a tight end, but nothing out of the ordinary for Gonzalez.

Defense:

The Chicago Bears defense has been dominant.

As much as I hate the Chicago Bears, I LOVE what they’ve been doing for my fantasy team. They led my team in scoring with 28 fantasy points as they toyed with the listless Jaguars. Two interceptions, a fumble recovery, three sacks, and two defensive touchdowns. ‘Nuff said.

Kicker:

I’m really only including this to be fair, but Minnesota’s Blair Walsh gave Pocket 13 fantasy points after hitting three field goals and three extra points in the Vikings’ blowout win over the Titans (if only the Lions could’ve done the same).

Honorable Mention: Arian Foster (22 points for Pocket Rockets; 29 carries, 152 yards, one TD), Percy Harvin (26 points for Brainiacs; eight receptions, 108 yards, one rec. TD; two carries, eight yards, one rushing TD), Victor Cruz (25.5 points for Fighting Sheeds; five receptions, 50 yards, three TD), Wes Welker (22.5 points for Fear Boners; 13 receptions, 103 yards, one TD), Andrew Luck (30 points for Travolta’s Masseuse; 31/55, 362 yards, two passing TD, one INT; six carries, 24 yards, one rushing TD)

Notable Duds and Disappointments: Andre Johnson (1.5 points for Turd Ferguson’s; one reception, 15 yards), Maurice Jones-Drew (5.5 points for BroLo El Cunado; 12 carries, 56 yards), Mike Wallace (2 points for Pocket Rockets; two receptions, 17 yards), Joe Flacco (6 points for Pocket Rockets; 13/27, 187 yards, zero TD, one INT)

So, there you have it…How is your fantasy team doing?

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