An Open Letter to the Cincinnati Reds Fan Who Ran onto the Field with a Romney/Ryan 2012 Sign

October 10, 2012


Seriously asshole?

Do you have any clue why people watch sports? They do it to get away from the psychotic, nonstop mental and physical assault that’s levied against them by the real world. And do you know who the main culprit of that assault is? Politicians. But your genius plan to buzz market (thanks to Judge John Hodgman for turning me on me that term) the Romney/Ryan ticket just had to involve interrupting playoff baseball.

The last time the Cincinnati Reds were in the playoffs: 2010, when they got swept by the Phillies. Before that, it was 1995. There’s been three Reds playoff appearances in the last two decades, and you went and ruined one of their few home postseason games by attempting to turn it into the most misguided political ad in the history of democracy (and that includes every Super PAC ad ever).

Say, do you know how Reds fans could have seen a Romney ad? By watching the commercials during the game, where political ads ran approximately 598,310 times. The odds of a human being in America watching television not seeing a political ad during a sporting event are worse than the odds of winning the lottery. So thank goodness you had the wherewithal to account for that one person that had managed to avoid any political ads during the current election cycle (which began on January 30, 2009).

The worst part about what you did is that you paid money for a ticket to one of the greatest ballparks in baseball for a game you knew you weren’t going to get to watch. You took a ticket away from someone who genuinely cared about the Reds and their playoff run. And I don’t think its going too far to say that its your fault the Reds weren’t able to close out the series last night, and now face a pivotal game five. Do everyone in Cincinnati a favor and stay away from the stadium for that. Which shouldn’t be hard, because, as it turns out, you’re from Los Angeles.

All I ask is that you keep your politics out of my sports. In exchange, I will do my best to stop my uncontrollable laugher at you being pinned and hogtied by four of Cincinnati’s finest.

Just kidding. I’m never going to stop laughing at that.


Brian Young

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