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College Football Uniforms: The Best of The West

October 6, 2012

College Football

College football uniforms are near and dear to my heart. They fall right in-between Cinnamon Toast Crunch and my mother. That’s not a slight to my mother; she’s a gem, but football uniforms are magical in way she is not. These simple garments turn a young man into a SUPERHERO. Taylor Mays is was the epitome of this transformation. You shouldn’t be allowed to look that good in a uniform. But, apparently the NCAA doesn’t share my sentiment and has allowed many teams to look that good in in their undying  quest to continually make me feel inadequate. And so now I will begin a quest of my own: a  journey that will take me from Pullman to Poughkeepsie in one man’s humble attempt to chronicle the best uniforms out there.

Western Region

University of Oregon:

The Ducks have 567,154 different uniform combinations. Fact. Thankfully, they have left the neon greens and yellows of yesterSWAGeration in favor of their more traditional colorways. Black and white kits were also added to their arsenal of all-things-extravagant. In an epic display of arrogance the Ducks will, in fact, wear white AFTER Labor Day. On top of that, the white uni’s have reflective numbers designed to keep away haters and tacklers alike. The Swoosh loves the Ducks, and they proved it again this year. It’s to be expected, though, and now I’m regretting wasting valuable copy on the Ducks regurgitating what everyone already knew. Sorry ’bout that.

University of Wyoming:

Tons of reason to love the Cowboys’ jerseys this season. Like any aspiring journalist, I love AP style and Wyoming brought the jounrnalistic-fury this year with their new look. When I saw these, I felt like I had died and went to some sort of football/style rules nirvana. Strunk, White, and Butkus are the hallowed fathers of this gridiron-grammar paradise. More and more teams are going with a matte finish for their helmets and the results are positive. Unless you can pull of some sort of iridescent shine that makes you look like a mallard, follow the way of Wyoming and go with matte! Brown and mustard yellow are typically colors reserved for forgetting about, but ’tis the Cowboys’ burden to bear and they did with it what they could. Well done.

Arizona State University:

If ASU had the same standards for admission as they do for their jerseys, they could really cut down on the little problem of theirs. But alas, they choose only to excel in one of those battlefields and their football team is the beneficiary of their choice… Actually to the football team it is probably a win-win regardless but that is neither here, nor there! THEIR JERSEYS ARE SoOoOoO COOL! The matte helmets give the jerseys a progressive feel, and coupled with a mostly black uni and Satan’s salad fork, it’s pretty terrifying.

Texas Christian University:

Whenever I see TCU play, I’m reminded quickly of my favorite Pogs Slammer from my youth. I’m pretty sure that’s why I like their jerseys. I RAN THE NEIGHBORHOOD WITH MY POG GAME. The Horned Frogs actually do have some nice threads this year, regardless of the aforementioned correlation. Purple, white and black are a trio of bold colors that create a masterpiece only found in North-Central Texas. Highlighted by scaly pants and a helmet that doesn’t remind me of any particular pog, these 2012 Horned Frogs are doing their best to actually morph into a horned frog (!!!!).

University of Washington (Black uniform):

“ANOTHER PURPLE AND BLACK SCHOOL? IS THIS GUY NUTS?” Whoa! Cool your jets there, Kimosabe. Have you seen the black UW jerseys they used to defeat Stanford this year? I’m still supremely confident the unis acted as UW’s Fortress of Solitude to Standford’s kryptonite. Is that fair? No. Is it cool? Yes. The Huskies are now in the top-25- even after getting shellacked in the Bayou. One has to assume coaches/media were thrown into a fit of forgetfulness brought on by the prowess of the black uni.    Can’t blame the players for that LSU loss, though. Blame the jerseys ALWAYS. The guy who picks the game day outfit needs to be granted an extremely short leash and given two options prior to game day. 1) Pick the black uniforms or 2) See option 1.

Weber State:

Kidding.

Chadron State:

Not kidding. Shout-out to the little guy! In a move other schools with more media scrutiny would be likely (rightly so) to avoid, the Eagles refuse to match the colors of their helmet and uniform. It’s slightly repulsive and I’m slightly into it. Chadron is tied for first place in the RMAC with 3 wins and as for their losses? Biiiiiig goose egg. Opponents are so in awe over the Eagles’ rebellious attitude on color coordination and they bow down to hail these DII revolutionaries. Chadron State goes undefeated this year and  beats LSU for the NCAA championship. Don’t know how, but do know it’s happening. Fight on Eags!

The next piece will examine the Midwestern region and it will come out when I have time to write it. This research takes 4EVER.

Stephen Kersh (@KaptainKersh) is majoring in jogging at the University of Portland

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4 Comments on “College Football Uniforms: The Best of The West”

  1. gene Says:

    Great stuff!

    Reply

  2. Matthew Milko Says:

    The Air Force uni’s yesterday were pretty sweet, same with Oregon and Washington. Worst of the day were easily Michigan State’s boring and ugly white road uni’s with that stupid green stripe on the shoulders.

    Reply

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. College Football Uniforms: The Beasts of The East | TheFarmClub.net - October 20, 2012

    […] Kersh, the normal author of this three piece segment, which covers the west, midwest and east, took the week off to become a better “jogger”. So I took the reigns […]

  2. College Football Uniforms: Best of the Midwest | TheFarmClub.net - October 13, 2012

    […] walked up and down the California coast, over the Rockies, then back north to Seattle before finally making my way to the Midwest. My route can undoubtedly be questioned, but the […]

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