Week 3 NFL Thoughts: When the Wheels Came Off

September 25, 2012

Features, Football, Weekly Thoughts

Week 3 was really odd.  A set of overtime games highlighted by Detroit Lions backup Shaun Hill throwing two touchdown passes in the final :41 of their game against Tennessee to force overtime.  The coachless Saints dropping to 0-3. The Cardinals and Falcons just demolishing their opponents to move to 3-0.

And there is of course last night’s game.  Which is the first topic in my week 3 thoughts.

Replacement Refs Officially Cost Someone a Game —  That took far longer than I thought it would, in all honesty.  On what planet is a that a friggin’ catch? And how was Packers coach Mike McCarthy civil enough to send 11 guys out for the extra point when he really should’ve come out grabbing his balls and flipping the bird? I keep trying to forget about how awful these scabs are but then they go and make a call like this. Hooooooooly shit that’s an awful call.  You know it’s bad when the announcers are openly ripping the performance of the refs, as Al Michaels has been hilariously condescending all season. John Gruden sounded nearly catatonic last night, like a war vet who keeps having flashbacks. Mike Tirico actually used the word “jobbed” when talking about the Packers. This has been awesome so far but mostly because my team hasn’t taken it prison style from the refs yet.

Does this actually change anything? I doubt it as I picture Roger Goodell sitting in his office, twirling his moustache in a dastardly manner. He really is Snidely Whiplash at this point.  This won’t change a damn thing and we’ll be crying until the real, somewhat less awful refs come back.  Though, I do get the feeling that Ed Hochuli was watching that game last night while doing some curls, grinned when he saw the result and whispered sweetly to his biceps.

Dafuq is Wrong With Aaron Rodgers and the Packers Offense? — I’m noticing this mostly because Aaron Rodgers is my quarterback in fantasy and he is RUINING ME but what the hell is going on with this offense? Dropped balls, tons of sacks, you name it. This offense looks like a shell of its former self.  Currently 25th in total yards per game and tied for 26th (with the Cleveland Browns. THE CLEVELAND BROWNS PRODUCE AS MANY POINTS A GAME AS THE PACKERS WHAT IS HAPPENING WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE) in points per game. This seems to be happening with all three elite quarterbacks but at least Brees can make the claim that he has no coach.  Which seems important.  Get your shit together because seriously, I can’t be the guy to take Rodgers #1 overall the year he stops being good.

Turns Out the Cardinals Are For Real — Who would’ve thunk? No one had confidence in them when John Skelton was starting but when he went down and the immortal Kevin Kolb came in? The fourteen people left on the bandwagon jumped off.  I mean, it’s not that the offense has been world-beaters. They’re near the lower half of the pack offensively. Beanie Wells is hurt again but, really, when is he not? But that defense.  Sweet Jeebas on a stick that defense. The held the Patriots in check for a week 2 upset that ruined most Suicide Pools around the country but then they came out and just ABUSED the Eagles last week.  Michael Vick ate more grass than a herd of cows.  The defensive line, with Darnell Dockett, Dan Williams, and Calais Campbell, is flat out dominant and carrying this team right now. If Kolb can remain even remotely reliable, they have a chance to steal the division.

The Falcons Are the NFL’s Best Team, Though — Another week, another great performance from Matt Ryan and the offense.  Despite having the douchiest, most frat boy nickname in the league, “Matty Ice” is having the breakout season most predicted. They don’t put up a ton of yards mostly because they don’t have to. They’re efficient, making the most of their opportunities to the tune of 31.3 points/game (3rd best in the NFL). Watching their first few games, the Falcons passing attack looks almost unbeatable. They pick apart defenses because have two elite receivers in Julio Jones and Roddy White plus Tony Gonzalez apparently doesn’t grow old because he just keeps catching more passes than most of the tight ends in the league.  If Michael Turner weren’t a big fat bowling ball, they could be totally dangerous but I think the running game will become an issue for them should anyone be able to slow down their passing.  All this and the defense is sneaky good (4th in the NFL in points allowed per game).  It’s just a shame they play in the worst major sports city in the country. CARE ABOUT YOUR TEAMS.

Everyone Off the Mike Vick Bandwagon — I’d like to think I’m a genius who got off the bandwagon at the right time. I drafted him, KNOWING he’d turn the ball over like it was his job and that he’s one good hit away from being a pile of dust.  That said, I got my 50 points out of him for the first two weeks of the season before trading him for Joe Flacco before week 3.  I AM YOUR FANTASY GURU.  Vick was again mediocre, producing his share of yards but very little in the way of points.  This is a top 10 team in yardage that is LAST in points/game. How is that even possible? Twelve turnovers in the first three games. That’s how. People will still convince themselves Vick is amazing and that he’s a threat to blow up at any moment and the reality is that he produces a ton of yards, a ton of turnovers, and is a threat to blow up from a huge hit at any moment. I wasn’t on the Eagles junk to begin with and I’m still not. The Eagles will get Vick killed before they win 10 games.

Week 3 is done. I’ll sit back and watch everyone and their mother give their .02 on this referee debacle.  I’ll wait until the refs finally settle and Ed Hochuli makes his triumphant return, coming out to “Real American” in his black and white boa.

And sadly, when the Bills play the Pats in week 4, I’ll wait until it’s time to start drinking again.

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