Week 2 NFL Thoughts: Welcome to the Irrationally Confident Club!

September 18, 2012

Football, Weekly Thoughts

Week 2  in the NFL has passed and I find myself feeling drastically different thank I did in week 1. A win from one’s favorite team would do that. Not only that but a couple of legitimately interesting storylines have emerged and yours truly is gonna break them down.

Bills Turnaround? Look, I know you don’t care about the Bills. No one outside of Buffalo does.  You know what though? I don’t care. This is MY space and I’m gonna do with it what I want.  That said, the Bills looked GOOD against the Chiefs. Whether that is because they are figuring things out or because the Chiefs are terrible is another question.  CJ Spiller went off again and has supplanted Fred Jackson (if the Bills are dumb enough to sit Spiller when Jackson comes back, I don’t know what I’m going to do) for the time being. Fitzpatrick still looks shaky and indecisive, which scares me, but he didn’t turn the ball over and was efficient enough(10/19, 178yds 2 TDs). THAT’S HOW WE DO IT AT HARVARD. The defense actually looked good until the garbage time but that was to be expected.  The Bills should crush Cleveland on Sunday (I’ll be there) before they get annihilated by the Patriots in week 4. Speaking of those Patriots..

Bill Belichick is Sticking it to Wes Welker — Belichick is notorious for refusing to overpay and Wes Welker wants his dollar dollar bills, ya’ll.  So it would seem that Welker is being phased out of the offense as evidenced by his 8 catches for 109 yards through the first two weeks. But he’s been targeted more than any other Patriot save Brandon Lloyd.  And no matter how much Belichick loves him some two-tight-end sets, Kellen Winslow JR (SOLDIER!) isn’t a better option than the Mighty White.  With Aaron Hernandez out of the picture for the next few weeks, Welker is going to get more targets unless Belichick enjoys hindering his own offense. Then again, he seems like a real prick so that wouldn’t surprise me.

The Eagles Can Only Get So Many Fluke Wins — I don’t care that they’re 2-0.  They didn’t deserve to win week 1 against the Browns (THE BROWNS FERCHRISSAKES) and didn’t deserve to beat the Ravens on Sunday. Their defense is keeping them afloat but Vick is a turnover machine who is too stupid to slide or duck out of bounds to protect his body.  Which is important because this team is NOT winning with Nick Foles. There is no way in hell this team can keep overcoming Vick’s turnovers (6 interceptions, 2 fumbles lost in 2 weeks) especially with a schedule that has no pushovers.  Plus, they’re coached by Andy the Walrus whom Philly fans are hoping will finally be fired. If Vick keeps averaging 4 turnovers a game, trust me, it won’t be long before these clowns are losing.

Jay Cutler Cares Just Long Enough to Be a Total Prick — Jay Cutler always looks really disinterested.  Particularly after he’s just thrown another interception and has to wait on the bench awhile before throwing another. Occasionally, though, he shows that fire.  Granted, it’s not the good kind of fire. More like the “berate your teammates and then half-heartedly shove one of them out of anger and frustration” kind of fire.  He really strikes me as the kind of guy who calls his offensive linemen “fat fucks” when they screw up. Just a feeling.  People are high on the Bears this year but to be fair to Jay, the offensive line is a total shitshow and may or may not get him killed.  I understand they finally have a legit #1 receiver in Brandon Marshall but if Cutler doesn’t even have a chance to find him what’s that gonna matter? Looking forward to many more stories about him going off on a teammate before being called out publicly following an awful loss.

The Replacement Refs Suck But Get Used to It — Steve Young put it best during last night’s Monday Night Football post-game show when he basically surmised that the NFL doesn’t care about the effect these replacement refs are having because you’ll watch anyways.  And he’s right.  Is anyone going to actually not watch football just because these guys take 28 minutes to make a call? Hell no.  We’re going to sit there and stuff our fat faces while we bitch and moan about what’s happening but forget about it the second the next play starts.  The NFL knows the replacement refs blow but they don’t want to (and won’t) pay the regulars to come back so just get used to a total clusterfuck from the refs.  Besides, it’s not like it matters; you’re going to watch anyways. You could basically substitute the whole movie previews scene from this South Park episode with the current referee situation and it would be spot on.  “Pass interference on number…28, no 99. What’s it matter? You’ll still watch, fuck you!”

San Francisco is Unquestionably Your  Super Bowl Favorite — After walking into Green Bay and pretty much controlling the Packers followed by a truly stifling performance against Matt Stafford and the Lions on Sunday night, this team has to be the favorites. They just beat the shit out of people defensively. They don’t give up big plays and consistently pressure the quarterback.  And everyone questioning Alex Smith? Not so much these days. Completing 70% of your passes for 429 yards, 4 TD’s and no interceptions will do that.  Add in Frank Gore giving the finger to those who thought Kendall Hunter would fully supplant him (the two still share carries) and the offense is legitimately formidable. The Bills have them in week 5 and I already want to curl into a ball and drink.

I’ll be back next week to give you my thoughts on week 3 which will undoubtedly feature 3 more Michael Vick turnovers, a shootout between Eli Manning and Cam Newton, and Christian Ponder being put in a full body cast after facing the 49er defense.

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