Five Remaining Olympic Events That Are Must Watch (For the Wrong Reasons)

August 3, 2012


Week one of the 2012 London Olympics is in the books, and there was quite a bit to be exited over. Michael Phelps became the most decorated Olympian of all time, the US Women dominated in gymnastics, and there were plenty of gruesome injuries to go around.

But as exciting as the first week has been, it might be hard to find reasons to continue to be excited going forward. After 7 days of non-stop coverage, it wouldn’t be shocking if people’s Olympic fever was dying down. It would be easy to say “oh, I’m bored of the Olympics, I’m just going to catch a baseball game.” Well to that I say shut your filthy commie mouth. You have a patriotic duty to watch the remainder of the Olympic games and cheer on your countrymen and women, and damn it I’m going to give you five reasons to do it if it kills me.


Olympic Boxing

Boxing is a sport that doesn’t quite seem at home in the Olympics. While other combat sports, such as judo and fencing, have proud traditions in the Olympics, boxing is watered down and border line confusing as an Olympic event. The scoring is complex and prone to error, and it lacks much of the entertainment value that professional boxing offers. But, there’s still reasons to watch.

Legitimate reason to watch
The US is actually one of the weaker nations in the boxing field this time out, with no real contenders in any weight class. But, there’s still some exciting fighters to watch in Anthony Joshua, the superheavyweight contender fighting in his home country, and if Beijing was any evidence, the entire light flyweight field will offer some quick, pulse pounding action.

Reason you’ll actually watch                                                                                                                      

  Anyone who’s ever seen classic Simpsons episode “The Homer They Fall,” or Guy Richie film “Snatch,” knows amateur boxing can attract some unscrupulous characters. These Olympics seem to be no exception, with rampant allegations of match fixing being thrown around. This past week, Azerbaijan’s Magomed Abdulhamidov was awarded a 3 round decision over Japan’s Satoshi Shimizu, despite the fact that Shimizu had beat Abdulhamidov so badly in the third round that Adbulhamidov couldn’t stand under his own power to have his hand raised in victory. Eventually, the decision was appealed and reversed, but some are calming that Abdulhamidov was awarded the fight initially because Azerbaijan was promised two Olympic medals in exchange for loaning $10,000,000 to the International Amateur Boxing Association. If these allegations are even remotely true, the remainder of the tournament should be interesting to watch unfold.


The Gymnastics events have already been tremendously exciting, with the women’s team winning Gold easily, and Gabby Douglas taking home the gold in the all around individual competition. The US men’s team stumbled however, failing to medal at all.

Legitimate Reasons to Watch
With the individual events coming up, the US men and women are still poised to take home some more gold. Look for Danell Leyva to place, if not take it all in the men’s high bar, and McKayla Maroney is expected to be the heavy favorite to win gold in women’s vault.

Reasons You’ll Actually Watch
Statistically speaking, the chances of little Russian girls crying at some point during the remaining competitions is 400%. And I know, its typically a foul to revel in the tears of a 14 year old who just had her dreams crushed, but until the Kremlin offers proof that those girls are human and not some Soviet Somersault Machines designed by a engineer being held at gun point in Siberia, I’m going to enjoy their failure.

Another reason to watch? Remember how Danell Leyva is one of the favorites to win the high bar competition? Well he kind of smashed his face on the high bar during his routine at the World Championships last year.

So if the guy who’s the favorite can screw up horrifically, imagine how bad it could end up for everyone not expected to place.

Bicycle Racing

BMX racing became an Olympic event back in Beijing, rounding out what are arguably the most unappreciated series of events in the modern Olympiad. Londoners came out in droves to see native son and sideburn aficionado Bradley Wiggins take the gold in the time trial event, and showed equal passion during the track cycling events.

Wiggins Gold Medal

My God, his sideburns have sideburns

Legitimate reasons to watch
Aside from the highly excitable crowds these events have produced, the speed, precision, and danger involved in many of these events are a sight to behold. While the Americans are far from a world powerhouse in this event (the United Kingdom is expected to take home more then its share of gold), the American teams have been training partariculary hard for their events, knowing how popular of a sport this is in the UK, and knowing that they have something to prove.

Slightly less legitimate reasons to watch
I mentioned danger before, and believe me when I say it isn’t in short supply. In BMX and track cycling especially, expect there to be a fair share of wipeouts, crashes, and pile ups. Imagine roller derby, but with much better athletes, and much higher speeds.

Finally, I’m going to give you two events, and sum up why you should watch them in one sentence each.


Check out what happened to Salim Sdiri and you won’t be able to not watch the javelin competition.

Modern Pentathlon

One of the oldest and most storied events in the Olympics, the modern pentathlon combines five otherwise unrelated events (fencing, swimming, equestrian show jumping, running and shooting) and subjects athletes to their combined forces creating a competition so grueling that sitting on your couch watching it counts as a workout.

Don’t forget to follow TheFarmClub on Twitter @TheFarmClub and like us on Facebook for updates throughout the Olympics. And go ahead and follow me @30carpileup while you’re at it.

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